Just my everyday life of looking for love. Wondering why it's taking a journey.
Saturday, August 4, 2012
Greetings
Okay where do I start. Hello, my name is Impatient Heart and I am currently looking for love but obviously in all the wrong places. I'm 29 years of age and have not had a relationship that lasted longer than a year since my highschool sweetheart. I don't mind putting it all on the table for everyone to judge because, well I really don't have an explanation right now. I just want people to know that love is starting to exhaust me. I know many people might say well your not supposed to look for love it will happen when it's time. To be quite honest, I don't have the patience. I never really did have any. Another truth moment, I have a 7yr old son who thinks he is a man. He is really one of the reasons I'm out looking for love. He gives me a time limit on when I need to be married or atleast have a boyfriend. Usually it's by the end of whatever week that he decides he wants to bring it up. I tell him all the time "be realistic, I can't find a husband in a week". We both laugh and continue on with our daily discussion of how I need to be married and so on and so forth. I'll give you a little history on the men I've dated and the men I attract. I think I've dated good men, who at the time would give me the shirts off there backs, but just didn't work for many different reasons. One was too jealous and a liar, and we all think a little jealousy is cute at first. But, when your guy starts to make up bogus lies it starts to become a little suspect. Lies about having encounters with people you know they have never met. Lies about brawls with various people that just don't add up at the end of the story. To top the cake, when I was on a romantic weekend for Valentines Day with my love at the time and the two of us were asleep or so I thought. I awake to the sound of whimpering or sobbing should I say. I ask what is the matter, and the response was "you were calling another guys name in your sleep". Now that was a complete shocker and mood killer. I knew instantly this was a call for attention seeking. I tried to play cool because I knew this was a lie. It has never been reported that I talk in my sleep let alone calling someones name. I scare myself when I snore in my sleep because I normally don't and when I do its because I am extremely tired and it scares the hell out me. Talk about weird. I knew I was in store for some odd situations to come. Let's just say more did come and ultimately ended the relationship. Great guy but a little disturbed for my taste. So I've given you a taste now let's get into the guys I attract. I would say married men hit on me the most. Guys previously out of relationships or marriage and looking for companionship but not relationships. Now why do I get to be called the great conversationalist. I don't need friends I need love dammit. Okay enough venting!!! Men think I am great to confide in but that's just not enough for me. I want to be confided in and committed to. Is that so much to ask for??? Seems as though all the men I want to commit don't and all the men I don't want to commit to want me. Why do some women want what we can't have and detour away from what we need? It's because all the ment we need seem to be needy, not exciting enough or just boring. All the men we know are no good for us keeps us coming back. That is a lesson that I had to learn on many occasions and now I think I finally learned my lesson. Until the next time (wink, wink). Well, looks like it's love break time.Until next time I will be OUT LOOKING FOR LOVE, WILL RETURN SHORTLY.
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